In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values refer to the core principles and beliefs that guide our actions and give meaning to our lives. These values might include things like compassion, honesty, connection, or adventure, and they are often based on what we care about most deeply.
In ACT, values are not just abstract ideas; rather, they are the foundation for how we want to live our lives. By identifying our values and making them the focus of our attention and behaviour, we can create a sense of purpose and direction that can help us to cope with difficult thoughts and feelings.
To exercise perspective and choice in living with our chosen values, it’s important to first identify what our values are. This might involve exploring different areas of life, such as relationships, work, health, or personal growth, and asking ourselves what is most important to us in each area.
Once we have identified our values, we can use them to guide our actions and make choices that are consistent with them. This might involve setting goals that align with our values, or making decisions that are in line with what we care about most deeply.
It’s also important to remember that our values may change over time, and that it’s okay to revisit them and adjust our goals and actions accordingly. By staying connected to our values and using them as a guide, we can create a more fulfilling and meaningful life, even in the face of difficult thoughts and feelings.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), defusion refers to the process of letting go of our unhelpful thoughts and beliefs and finding a new perspective on them. This may entail realising that our thoughts are merely ideas and conjured up images in our minds and that they are not facts or realities over which we have no control.
One way to exercise defusion is to practice mindfulness, which involves bringing our attention to the present moment and observing our thoughts and feelings without judgement. This can help us to see our thoughts as transitory mental events that come and go, rather than as fixed and unchangeable truths.
Another way to practice defusion is to use specific techniques, such as labelling thoughts as just thoughts, using humour to distance ourselves from our thoughts, or using imagery to see our thoughts as leaves on a stream. These techniques can help us step back from our thoughts and let them go, rather than getting caught up in them.
Overall, the goal of defusion is to create some psychological space between ourselves and our thoughts, so that we can respond to them in a more flexible and adaptive way. This can help us reduce the negative impact of our thoughts on our emotions and behaviour, and to live in line with our values and goals.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), the self can be conceptualized in different ways. The “self as context” refers to the observing and compassionate part of the self that is able to take a step back and witness one’s own thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them. This part of the self is able to remain present and aware in the moment, even in the face of difficult experiences.
The “conceptualized self” refers to the part of the self that is made up of thoughts and beliefs about who we are and how we should behave. This can include our identity, values, and goals. In ACT, it’s important to recognize that the conceptualized self is not the same thing as the true self, and that our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves can sometimes be limiting or unhelpful.
The “self as content” refers to the experiences and sensations that make up our moment-to-moment experience. This can include thoughts, feelings, sensations, and perceptions. In ACT, the goal is not to eliminate or suppress these experiences, but rather to find a way to have them without being overwhelmed or controlled by them. This allows us to focus on what is most important to us and to take action in line with our values.
Bored? You are not broken, yet you may need to add a new response to boredom. It is probably your best friend. Choose to accept the message from boredom. Don’t send it packing this time.
A Letter from Boredom. Maybe Write one back.
Bemoaning boredom prior to relapsing is a common occurrence in the stages and cycles of dealing with addiction issues. I’m bored. What’s the point, and a call to the dealer is placed, or a hand reaches for the next bet on an app, or another trip to the pub or off-licence is made. Boredom, like far-reaching possibilities, is put on hold for the time being.
Inviting clients to “lean into boredom” in my ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy – pronounced “act”) therapy sessions raises a few eyebrows. Boredom, on the other hand, is important feedback, a messenger who is frequently shown the door far too soon. Perhaps we should get our journals out and spend some time being bored. Keep an eye out for its subtle message. It’s interesting to take proactive time to sit with boredom, noticing feelings and sensations with openness and curiosity. I choose to engage in a curious relationship with boredom, being open to its presence. Perhaps take notes and record any thoughts that arise.
The urge to move away from boredom may be the old behaviours. What can you do differently today?
We can feed it addictions or invite its assistance as we begin to identify our values and aspirations. Simply put, boredom is a disconnect from our true values, what we stand for, and our purpose.
I believe that addicts and alcoholics (although with ACT we are not hot on labels) have amazing personalities. When addictive, creative types like us are willing to open up to boredom and allow it to speak to us, we will discover our true self and, with it, our purpose. Listen to your amazing competitive talent self.
That can be quite overwhelming and frightening, so we resort to our old familiar avoidant behaviours. However, there are times when we have a choice. Choose to be open to our aspirations, inspirations, and a version of ourselves that are willing to strive, thrive, and pursue a new path.
Boredom will message you incessantly when your experience is exposed to abstinence. Your mind will autopilot to “avoid and control unwanted experiences with whatever it has long been trained to do, thus relapse will appear to offer respite.
Radical Acceptance invites a paradoxical response to boredom. Just maybe, your boredom opens the door to possibility. A room brimming with new possibilities. Will you enter or leave today?
Boredom is sending you a message. You do not have a problem with alcohol or drugs. You have a sober problem. As a result, sobriety and abstinence as a life goal will only take you so far. Boredom invites you to consider living from values of sobriety/abstinence, and thus you are now open to a Rich and Meaningful Life. One that challenges your fears and blocks because it serves a real purpose. It’s an identity you desperately want to feed.
The RedChair ACT Pathway Programme is designed for addictive creative types when abstinence and sobriety are insufficient. Your ambitions can become a life role, a way of life, my “what I do.” What makes that really effective is when you also create a path that includes getting paid to do something you truly enjoy and want to spend your time involved in and with. Boredom will message you, and relapse will appear, offering respite, if there is no purpose and possibility in action.
Soberpreneurial: Ambitious Creative Talented person in active recovery who has the dream, desire and drive to build a business.
You harbour desires, dreams, ideas and inspirations for your new and exciting vocation or business.
One that you know you really want to do if you were not feeling stuck. Unsure how even to start? Fear, procrastination, lack of skills or self believe keeping you safe, in your day-to-day safe zone?
RedChair soberpreneurial program for those in active recovery who have a dream, want to build a business, or vocation, and create a world where you get paid for doing what you love.
You Can Do This
Those in active recovery, and maintaining a life based on abstinence are already amazing. Climbing out of addiction, into recovery is incredible. For some, this can soon feel suffocating, not compelling, and somehow not enough. Like you have an itch you can not scratch. Grateful of course for a life of freedom from addiction, yet somehow, an unresolved natural sense of needing to explore new vistas, dreams, and yearnings that seem to be based on career, and vocational aspirations. Get Better, Be Better and now, open up to launching a potential that simmers within you. Do Better.
Ask Yourself:
What is it you really love, that floats your boat, and interests you?
What do you have a passion and talent for?
What is your purpose if you could really be free to flourish?
If you could earn money doing what you love, what would it be?
What is your amazing ambition, that your creative, capable, committed self, with talent and transformative support, really wants to do with your life?
Join the Soberpreneurial Development Group where we nurture dreams and find ways to make them come true. Start by calling us 0800 530 0012 and let’s find out what you want, exploring how to make that happen. It will be fun, furious, and hard at times.
Experience teaches us that there is one life, and unresolved dreams are a regret one should not have to shoulder.
How Does It Work
Consult with us on the dream, the idea, and the yearning for some kind of pathway, and we will collaborate with you, showing you how it could come to life. We start where you are at, make a plan that fits you, and work with you to make that happen. Working on a business idea is a process of action, accumulating tasks that build and acquire momentum. You just need to show up and ask for help. We will guide you.
Make The Call
Bill on 07789 480286
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”
Untangling the world of addictions by Sarina Wheatman
This is my friend’s gift to you. Real-world recovery. The power, pain and program that makes up a life. How do you stay sober? Reality Recovery invites you to make space for this. Good days. Bad days. Good Luck. Bad Luck. Grace & Favour. Robbers & wretches. Put down the booze or pills, get a recovery program and get ready for life. Following on from her first book, Twisted Wires, Sarina holds your hand and takes you into the real world of addiction and recovery. Untwisting wires, becoming unstuck, untangled whilst life is anything but.
Sarina shares her experiences, that you may be better prepared for yours.
Life. It will happen, it will be yours and this is how it can be hell and heaven. This is also how learning to Untwist Wires invites you to step into and be a part of all of your life, your journey and future.
Sarina shares how she went about her dreams and hopes with addiction with all its highs and lows. Then you learn how she goes about her dreams and hopes using active recovery with the 12 step program.
Your life. My life. Get ready for the journey. Booze or drugs are not discriminative. They affect all of you.
Sarina and her recovery is a clear invitation. Make a choice and accept the consequences, all of them. Just allow yourself this one gift. Do it from active recovery.
Purchasing & Reading
Here is a link to the paperback on Amazon. Just Click on the image. You will see that for Amazon Prime Unlimited members, you can read it for free. Hope you enjoy it and give Sarina positive feedback on the site.
Upon awakening, your mind is full of your autopilot history ready to advise and guide you to do what you have always done. This is not always aiming for the outcome you wish!
ACT – Acceptance Commitment Therapy
Accept uncomfortable feelings, thoughts and sensations
Choose my values
Take ACTion
ACT Daily Exercise
Five Senses Grounding – Mindfully notice the present moment.
Notice sense of touch
Notice sense of smell
Notice sense of taste
Notice sense of seeing
Notice sense of hearing
Ask yourself,
Who is important to me today?
What is important to me today?
What will I do today? My to-do list?
Towards behaviors list
What uncomfortable feelings show up that I will hold lightly?
I am willing to have a normal human feeling off ……….
What will my mind tell me that is not so helpful today?
Thanks mind for the thought of ………!
What can helpers today?
Values
Morals
Principles
Personal character strengths
What can I do right now that is a towards behaviour?
Unwanted Feelings Techniques:
Notice the feeling. Where is it in my body? Breathe around it, and then choose to give it physical qualities as a way of defusing from it. Try to notice its location, size, shape, temperature, texture, weight, colour. Name it. It could be anger, shame, anxiety, fear, depression, guilt, hopelessness, procrastination, frustration, etc. Imagine taking it out of your body. Observe it as something that shows up in you. Mindfully tell yourself.
“I am a normal human being having a normal feeling”. Be willing to put it back in your body, and bring it with you as you go about your day. It is something you have rather than something you are. I am having the feeling of “X” is very different to the fused “I am X”.
Unwanted Thoughts Techniques:
Stepping Back.
What thought (“The Thought”) is hooking you, that you feel really stuck to and stuck with?
1 Step back. I am having the thought that .. (“The Thought”)
2 Steps back. I notice that I am having the thought that …(“The Thought”)
Thanking the mind.
“Thanks for that mind” is a way to step away from a thought, and then see if it is towards or away thought in the context of your values living today?
This podcast is Mr Robert J. Meyers PHd talking about CRAFT – Community Reinforcement and Family Training. In other words, you have a family member who refuses to talk about or go to treatment and you learn how to use CRAFT to help change this.
How do you do what matters, no matter what? How do you move out from being stuck, rigid, inflexible? We all hit points in our lives when this becomes an experience. One way to start to move again is to take a higher perspective, to notice with compassion what is in play.
I do not see the world the way it is, I see the world the way I AM.
I do not see the world the way it is. I see the world the way I AM
You can notice what is most in play for you right now. You can observe where you are at, what is guiding your behaviours. I invite you to actively notice, and then choose what suits you best in moving you towards who and what is important to you.
Btw my friend who you recommended RedChair therapy to gave me some feedback and said he has been brilliant and life changing
A therapist passed this on to me a moment ago. It was sent by text, copied and pasted here.
I still am in awe of what we can achieve with ACT – Acceptance Commitment Therapy. Maybe it was alcohol problems or anxiety, or maybe it was depression. Could have been drug problems, or gambling. Intrusive thoughts, problems at work. Often it is health or work environments where some or all of this stuff shows up. If a life is lost to the struggle and feels stuck, then why not have a life-changing moment by way of therapy with RedChair?
Who do you know who is stuck? Struggling? With clinics in Wilmslow and Hale Barns, we aim to make therapy appropriate, affordable, available, unique.. and life-changing.
