A call that says it all…
“Bill, you know how it is… you hear the car door outside and your stomach just tightens. You do not know who is about to walk through that door. The kids, they do not make a fuss, they just quietly vanish and busy themselves somewhere out of the way. Then we all wait. We watch. We listen. It is that ‘what next?’ feeling. That dread. It is not the big blow-ups, or the dramatic moments you see on telly. It is the quiet stuff, the constant edge, the way your body never fully relaxes. That low-level anxiety day after day when someone’s drinking or using is creeping up and you can feel the ground shifting under your feet. It wears you down. It is exhausting. And the worst bit is pretending everything is normal.”
When Drink, Drugs, Gambling.. Any addiction walks thru your door…..
There is a truth that often surprises people when we talk about addiction and change. Most recovery journeys do not start with the person who is drinking or using. They begin with the family. Roughly eight out of ten first steps toward help are prompted by someone who loves them enough to take action.
Not by force. Not by ultimatums.
By calm, steady, informed influence.
Families matter more than they realise. If you are living alongside someone who drinks, uses, gambles, or spirals in compulsive behaviour, you are not powerless. Your presence, your understanding, and your consistent responses can create the conditions where change becomes possible.
This is not about confrontation or conflict.
It is not about waiting until “they hit rock bottom”.
Those are myths, and sadly they keep far too many people suffering for far too long.
There is a different way. A kinder way.
A way that uses compassion, boundaries, practical psychology, and everyday behaviours that gently shift the system a family lives in. When the family changes, the addicted person often begins to change too.
A powerful free resource for families: Allies in Recovery
For families who want structured guidance, there is a remarkable resource now open to everyone. Allies in Recovery, one of the most respected family-centred addiction intervention programmes in the world, has temporarily released its full video training series on YouTube for free.
This programme is grounded in solid evidence and follows the CRAFT approach (Community Reinforcement and Family Training), a proven method that helps families create conditions for change through calm influence, positive reinforcement, supportive communication, and healthy boundaries. It teaches you how to respond in ways that protect your wellbeing while gently encouraging your loved one towards treatment and recovery.
The depth and quality of Allies in Recovery is exceptional. It is practical, compassionate, psychologically robust, and designed so that you can learn and apply the methods at home. For many families it brings clarity, relief, and a sense of direction when things feel overwhelming.
While it is available, take advantage. Watch, learn, and use what helps you.
You can access it here:
https://www.youtube.com/c/AlliesinrecoveryNet
If you find you want more personalised guidance or support alongside these materials, I am here in Wilmslow to help you integrate this approach safely and effectively in your own family context.
Many of you already know me. I am Bill Stevens here in Wilmslow, with thirty years in recovery and almost the same again working in interventions, therapy, and family support. I have seen hundreds of families walk through fear, frustration, love, guilt, and hope, and come out the other side stronger. Change is possible. Change is real. Families can help without waiting for crisis.
Thank you to those who sent kind messages after last week’s post. I am glad it struck a chord. These conversations matter. They give us all a more honest, practical view of addiction and recovery instead of the old unhelpful stereotypes.
If you are living with this, please do not carry it alone.
There is support here in our community, and I am always happy to help.
With warmth,
Bill Stevens
Addictions Interventionist, Therapist & Coach
Red Chair Therapy & Counselling
23 Hawthorn Street, Wilmslow, Cheshire, SK9 5EH
📞 07894 80286
📧 bill@redchair.co.uk
🌐 www.redchair.co.ukThe Intervention Service
🌐 www.theinterventionservice.co.uk
📧 help@theinterventionservice.co.uk
